The Life and Times of Frances Nkechi Agbahiwe.
5 min read
Life after all, is a journey, the only destination is death, but in between that polarity is the stuff that defines our destiny, experience and impact. My late wife, Mrs Frances Nkechi Austin-Agbahiwe (nee Oguike), fell into the ranks of women in the world who literally and practically broke the limits and chains of gender to render and create immense value to humanity in all that she did, embellishing same with passion, sincerity and optimism.
She was born on November 23, 1978 in Lagos, Nigeria to late Elder Francis Alionye and late Nne Okwukwe Mrs Dorothy Adanta Oguike. As a loving wife and mother, Frances touched the hearts of everyone who knew her. She grew up in a close-knit Christian family and carried her strong family values throughout her life. Until her demise, she was an Executive Director at Tynofranc Nigeria Limited and the Managing Director of Onwa.com Farms, located here in our village, Ibele Umuakah.
It is hard, yes, absolutely hard to come to terms and accept that you are dead, especially when I remember our last discussion and you told me that you will call back shortly as the consultants and other medical staff were attending to you. Am still waiting for that call!
Death and indeed a death so sudden and painful like this, in faraway Colmar in France, make me realize the brevity of life. It brought clearly to the fore the thin line between life and death. We often take life for granted, too much so. Your death has made me sit down and reflect. It has made me to put things in perspective. I am still in a state of rude shock and devastation!
Frances and I lived as husband and wife for 27 years 7 months. All through this period, she was my pillar of support and motivation. Our relationship started from 1994 when she returned to the village with her parents following the merit award bestowed to the late father, (Elder Francis Oguike) by Akah Vanguard Association over his excellent leadership exploits for many years as the chairman of Umuaka Development Union in Lagos.
A graduate of Banking & Finance (University of Nigeria, Nsukka) and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) holder in Marketing (Federal University of Technology, Owerri) who later acquired a Bachelors and Masters degree in French (Imo State University, Owerri), my wife gave up her career in Access Bank to support our children and create a happy home for me to make a success of my banking career, having earlier worked in various capacities and positions with Chartered Bank, Global Bank and Universal Trust Bank. She was also a talented linguist who spoke four international languages: French, Spanish, English and Portuguese, in addition to Yoruba. I gave so much time to my banking career, continuous education and community development activities in the first 22 years of our married life, a situation she accepted and encouraged me unconditionally. Our family was my wife’s greatest joy, and she dedicated her life to supporting, loving and guiding our children. She was always present at their school events, recitals, and family gatherings, making every moment count with her warmth and thoughtfulness. Poor me, I always figured that we still have plenty of time ahead of us to catch up after the children have finished their education and settled.
My dear wife, Frances, was deeply religious. A forward looking and optimistic Christian, she was our “Pastor” in the house who believed strongly that there was nothing impossible with God. She was a leader at the Hospitality Unit of the Winners Chapel where we worship, and the head of media at “When Women Pray International, Owerri Chapter” (a fellowship Christian group), and worked with great passion and commitment all through for our LORD, Jesus Christ, radiating value additions to humanity. She was also involved in so many charitable activities anonymously and derived so much joy in giving helping hands to others.
Ugom, I miss the wonderful plans we made. The memories we shared will never fade. The memories of the several countries of the world that we travelled together will forever live with me. Having you in my life, was the best dream come true. Since you have left this world, words cannot describe the emptiness inside me and the kids. I get so lost without you but I am sure you are with the Lord. You are with angels singing and praising the Almighty God whom you served all through while on earth with all your heart. You can no longer be seen by human eyes, but your soul and the love and simplicity you radiated will never die.
Since you are with the angels, please we (Dr Dawn Austin-Agbahiwe. Zuby Austin-Agbahiwe, Raul Austin-Agbahiwe, Greatman Austin Agbahiwe. Onwa Austin-Agbahiwe and I) need you as our guide and intercessor in heaven. I wish I could tell myself that you will be back someday and will be back to be with us again. What a life! What a passing on!!
I miss a million things, every detail of who you are. I miss your mind, body and soul. Whom do I run to when the challenges of life come knocking, as they often do? Who would often tell me, “Take it easy, O bukwanu nwa mgbe nta!” Who!!
I still say I am one lucky man to have been given the gift of you.
There are many things I think I should have done for you. Please forgive me for procrastinating. You taught me so much by your actions in the time we spent together. You taught me the value of a family. You taught me the value of the truest of love. I know that I should not question God obviously because He knows and has His reasons but I can’t help constantly asking myself “Why did you have to die?” We have a number of dreams we hoped we will realize. You served God fervently. I know what you will love to hear and see and I will endeavor to always do those things.
Greatly talented singer, writer, fashion designer, linguist and content developer, you were love, kindness and generosity personified. Our home was a fountain for the thirsty, a rest stop for the weary, and a kitchen for the hungry. You had good ears for the depressed, big hugs for the crushed, words of wisdom for the uninspired and good advice for the confused. You saw hopelessness and gave hope. You saw peace and maintained it. You saw progress and embellished it!
What a life!
