The Side of Oby Ezeigbo People Don’t Know. By Oby Ezeigbo
6 min read
My name is Lorthy Oby Moses, I am popularly known as Oby Ezeigbo and I am from Umuezikeoha Uba Umuaka in Njaba LGA Imo State Nigeria. Besides being a gospel singer, a composer and a mother, I have been involved in the planning and implimentation of high projects in Umuaka my home town. I was the brain behind the renovation of Girls Secondary Technical School Umuaka and the founder and former chairlady, Umuada Umuaka United Kingdom Association.
At a very young age, I left the bubbling town of Umuaka and travelled to England.
Below is what inspired me to start this wonderful organization. I call it the side of Oby Ezeigbo people don’t know.
I am the fifth child of my parents, my father was a very compassionate man. I took after him. May his beautiful soul continue to rest in peace. My beautiful mum has unconditional love towards people, she is a rare gem who influenced me a lot on how to build unconditional love towards others. That passion of giving lives in my heart and all my prayer in life is for God to bless me so that I can bless others, especially the needy.
And he answered my prayer.
The things I missed and didn’t learn at early age is what I want to give to our young girls of today. The stigma of menstrual period I went through as a child is what I do not wish any child should go through again in this modern age. Growing up in an environment where discussions concerning menstruation was a taboo until the day it embarrassed me was killing. The ostracism and humiliation I suffered were unbearable.
Let me shock you a little. I never heard about sanitary pads until I arrived in England. In Nigeria, I had no access to any type of sanitary pad except tissue paper. Nobody told me about menstruation. Not that my parents could not afford to, but the culture considered it uncomfortable to talk about it to the female child. My dad was well off and my mum who could have schooled me was always in the hospital.
I woke up one morning and found myself bleeding and totally wet in blood. I was scared and frightened. I ran to one of my aunties who is late now to tell her what I just saw. I told her I was bleeding, she took me inside their room, cut out tissue paper and handed it over to me to put in my pant which I did. I was only 12years old then. I was soaked in blood throughout the day using my cloths to wipe blood. May the beautiful soul of this my late auntie rest in peace.
At night time, I remembered a girl I once met at school who had blood stain on her school uniform. She is late now also. May her beautiful soul rest in peace as well. She was far older than I, but the fact that I had seen her with blood stain gave me the courage to approach her. I packed my bag that night and headed to her house in another village. It was a very long walk from my village Uba to her village called Amiyi. In fact it was what Nelson Mandela would call, Long Walk to Freedom. My determination to see her that night was highly strong. I was very sure she would know what was happening to me.
When I got to their house it was very late, I knocked at the door and woke them up both the mum and younger brother. They were so shocked to see me, all my legs were covered in blood. The first question the mother asked me was if I had committed abortion. I looked into her eyes and shook my head in disagreement, despite not understanding the question properly. My breasts were like a peanut, I was still used to dance naked when it rained. So how could I have committed abortion?
The daughter shouted at her, pulled me inside the house and said to her mum; “She’s on her period for the first time and didn’t know what to do that’s why she is covered in blood”. This statement from my friend gave me hope that I was in safe hands. She gave me a wooden chair to sit on while she boiled water for me to take my shower. when I finished taking my shower, she handed me over a roll of tissue paper to put in my pant. The mum served me hot pepper soup that was very spicy, my mouth was on fire burning but it did a lot of good to me.
After a couple of minutes, they asked me how it happened, I told them I woke up with blood. They asked of my mum. I told them that my poor mum was on admission at Emekeukwu Hospital and my elder sister was in a boarding school at Okigwe Girls while my immediate elder sister was in another boarding school at Amadugba Technical Secondary School including my two elder brothers. I was the oldest of my three younger siblings at home then: two girls and a boy. No one to confide on.
At night my friend woke me up twice to change the tissue. In the morning, she sat me down and explained to me that what happened to me was a very normal thing to young girls which happens to every woman. I understood her very well and each month, I went to stay with her for my menstrual cycle and returned home after six days. Even due she was far older than I was, we became best of friends.
After my first period by the time I returned to my family house, the news of my menstrual cycle was trending! As soon as the motorcyclist dropped me in front of my father’s house, all the mothers came out. They were looking at me like an outcast shaking their heads. I was made to understand that menstruation was shameful and I was looked down upon because of what made me a mother today.
But luckily for me, one of my aunties was visiting from Aba and she also heard the trending news. She sent for me and when I met her, she took me to Aba to spend some time with her. In Aba, she explained to me that I have become a woman and should behave myself responsibly around boys. May her beautiful soul continue to rest in peace also because if not for her, there is no way i can imagine what other mothers in our large family compound could have done to me as they were more interested in questioning me like a criminal. I was asked to explain what I did that made me to menstruate because I was just a child. To me, I had no idea what I have done to bleed for five to six days. They women also tried to know if I had eaten the food kept for the gods of the land. I then asked myself, “What could I have done that am facing this type of stigma?”
From that day, I decided that when I grow up, I would make sure no girl would be ashamed of her menstrual cycle.
Today, am glad that my dream has come true but it still hurts me so much to see the type of discrimination and harassment teenage girls go through because of their biologically functional bodies, without this function, no child would be born! Our Flower Girls and Teenage Mothers Foundation has indeed stood up to pad the girl child. Welcome on board, Our Flower Girls and Teenage Mothers Foundation. This is the Side of Oby Ezeigbo That People Don’t Know.
